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How to be the best maid of honour

How to be the best maid of honour

Categories: Wedding Advice For Women

I remember the first time I was asked to be a bridesmaid…well actually I was given the huge honour to be the maid of honour, the chief bridesmaid. For some this is really exciting, for others it can be quite scary. It is such an honour to be asked to be such an important part of somebody’s journey to tying the knot, but at the same time it can put a lot of pressure on. I had no idea what a maid of honour does (before this experience). I did not really know my place and what I needed to do, apart from the fact that I would be the person next to the bride whilst she says I do. But through experience, I learned some key things that are really important to always know.

Keep the bride calm

Although hen do’s are usually the most exciting part for a bride to be, planning a party can be stressful, especially such a pivotal celebration. Remember, that as the chief bridesmaid, you have the duty of reassuring the bride and make sure she keeps calm.  No matter what is going wrong, your job is to make it wright!

Act as the mediator

Very often we find on hen do’s that not everyone knows each other. A hen do is a celebration with people who have been part of your life through any stage. You get the friends who grew up with the bride to be, the high school friends, the co-workers, the fiancee’s friend’s girlfriends, etc. So at times it can be hard to get anything organized or come to a mutual conclusion. I sent an email to all the girls attending the hen do and when they replied with their choice and funds, I was the only one who saw the reply so there was no dramas between them all.  One thing to always keep in mind is that you are the bride’s right hand so act like it! Your job is to act as a mediator between everyone, making sure you listen to everybody and help draw the final decision. The bride has chosen you for a reason, she trusts you and you need to prove her that.

Stop the drama from happening

Very closely related to the above point. We all know when there are too many females in one room, some sort of drama will start. This is especially true when there are little cliques already formed and not everyone knows one another. As a maid of honour, you must mingle and be the go to person. The bride doesn’t need to know about what is going on, who doesn’t like who, she said this, she did that. Be friendly towards everyone and act as the peace maker. At the end of the day, you are there because of the bride to be. Sometimes, people forget that a hen do is a celebration and not a bitch fest, so keep the dramas minimal and be the one who smiles and makes everyone happy.

Ease up on the alcohol

Yes it is a party and yes you are supposed to make sure that the bride has as much fun as possible. But this doesn’t mean that you need to be wasted drunk. The bride to be will most likely be quite stressed and will drink quite a bit. Make sure you do water rounds, food etc. No hen wants to be sick on her hen do. She will thank you for it. At the same time, you may be stressed out from all the pressure, however under no circumstances get drunk. Drink yes, but trust me, you don’t want to ruin her big night out.

But do get the party started

As the chief bridesmaid, you must have a smile on your face for the duration of the hen party. Why? Because out of that group, you are the most important person to the bride to be. So organize loads of fun activities, games, champagne and whatever else the bride wanted on her big night. You can do activities which include everyone and gets them all involved. Whatever you do, remember this is her special night so if she said she doesn’t want a stripper, do not get her one. This will ruin her night. I know of a couple occasions where the bridesmaid decided to get a stripper, after the bride said no, and believe me, it did not end up pretty.  Make sure everyone feels welcome and special.  If something goes wrong, you must fix it.

Let’s have a toast

Each hen do is different, however most of the time, I would say it is really important to do a speech for the bride to be. If not a speech, at least have a toast in which you say just a few words about her and her hubby to be. It’s such a special time for her, and saying a few words of encouragement or sharing past memories will definitely make her smile (just bring out memories she actually wants to remember).

It all sounds a bit scary, and don’t get me wrong, you do have to be on you’re A game for the duration of the party. But you must always remember that it is so important to your friend and bride to be for your to be reliable. She is counting on you and believes you can do it. I say respect your friend’s wishes (after all, this night is all about her) and bring out the good times.


Miriam is the Senior PR & Campaigns Executive for The Stag Company. Originally from New Zealand, she loves fashion, animals, and travelling.

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